Things I have been feeling this week

I have had so many emotions this week, I don't really know where to begin.

Let's start by simply saying that morning sickness is THE WORST! Ha ha, it really is awful. I spent Thursday through Sunday feeling absolutely terrible, and thinking that this had to more than morning sickness perhaps I was actually sick. NO!!!!

It turns out I wasn't really sick, I was just stressed. On Sunday morning, I was at work, and one of my partners rubbed my shoulders for a second, and then said, "you are really tense". In that moment, I realized that I really was tense, and didn't know why. As I began to think about it, I realized that I was feeling tense because I feel an enormous amount of pressure to be pregnant with twins. That sounds really silly to say out loud, but I was literally stressing myself out over whether I was going to carry one or two babies because I really didn't want to disappoint my intended family. They so much want two babies, and I so much want to carry two babies for them. As soon as I had the moment of clarity and calmed myself down, I had to remember that how many babies I am pregnant with is out of my control. All I can do is take care of myself and my body to make sure that these babies, one or two, have a healthy environment to grow in. Stressing myself out, is not good for anyone.

As soon as I had that moment of perspective, I felt SO much better. I still have a little bit of the morning sickness going on, but that is easily remedied with eating more consistently. Eating is hard, ha ha. Okay, not really, but what is hard is making time for it. I keep myself pretty occupied with all the great things in my life, and have discovered that I don't always eat right when I am hungry. Sometimes I am like, "I will eat in a little bit", and 4 hours go by and I suddenly realize that I am famished. That is something that I am working on these next few months. I almost have to retrain myself how to think about food. My body needs it, and I need to feed myself, no if's, and's, or but's.

Another things that is happening this week is that I find out if I am having twins! Considering I was freaking out yesterday, and now I am calm about it, I am looking forward to Wednesday when I find out! So crazy!

If it does turn out to be twins, then there will be one boy, and one girl!

Well, until Wednesday! Have a great day!

Heather